I don't want to lose you
by Rachaella
Summary: It was near summer break when Yamamoto went ill and certain memory of his deceased mother which he had forgotten emerged and he became restless when Tsuna was the one on the line of repeating the same incident.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn as it belongs to Amano Akira. I just own the plot :)

Summary :

It was near summer break when Yamamoto went ill and certain memory of his deceased mother which he had forgotten emerged and he became restless when Tsuna was the one on the line of repeating the same incident.

Rating: T

oOoOoOo

"Dad, I'm off to school," Yamamoto said as he closed the door.

It was a week before summer holiday started. Baseball team was busy preparing for the summer tournament. It was common for the members of baseball team to go home nearly at the evening, especially Yamamoto. It would be the last match for third year and to he wanted to make commemoration by winning this season match.

"Hey boy, are you not going home yet? It's going to rain soon," said the gate keeper.

"I will, I'm just going to lock the room," Yamamoto smiled and said.

The sun had already set. Yamamoto walked in slower pace than usual.

"I wonder why today's so tiring... nah, I have to practice hard," Yamamoto thought with full spirit.  
"I can't get sick, not now," Yamamoto touched his neck, feeling a bit feverish.

"I'm home," Yamamoto said as he opened the door.

"Late again, huh?" his dad said in solid tone, not letting his worry showed up. "You'd better watch for your health. You can't achieve anything if you work yourself like that," he said as he left to the kitchen.

Yamamoto smiled, knowing that his dad worried him so much. "That old man never changes," he thought. Yamamoto went to his room to put his stuff and prepared for bath. He soaked himself in ofuro. "Today was sure tiring..," he thought as his eyes struggling to keep opened.

[Yamamoto's POV]

"..shi.. Takeshi, wake up. Wake up, dear. Here, I make you some porridge, special for my dearest son," I tried to open my eyes slowly before squinting them, trying to block away the sun ray. I remembered mom smiling at me and giving me a bowl of hot porridge. I reached out my hand to take it, but flinched from the heat.

"Ah, it's still so hot, I think. Here, let me feed you," mom took a spoon of the porridge and blew on it to cool it a few times. She turned to me and said, "Say aaa…"

[normal POV]

Yamamoto opened his eyes and wondering how he remembered those scenes after quite long time. He got out from the bathtub and scratched his head. He remembered his mom as a beautiful young woman with long black hair and cheerful personality. She was clumsy and often forgot things. There was a time when Yamamoto was still in grade 4, she forgot putting Yamamoto's lunch into his bag and finally she went to his school to gave him the lunch box. She was smiling sweetly to Yamamoto as he dashed outside the school gate. He looked at his mother; she was sweating quite profusely, her hair was ruffled, there were even some scratches seen on her cheeks, arms, and legs. She took the lunch box and gave it to him. Yamamoto came closer slowly, looked a bit hesitant. But instead of taking the lunch box, he gently touched the scratch on his mother's cheek.

"How do you get this? Did you fall?" he asked.

"Well, umm... I... I got tripped... a bit, I guess?" she raised one of her eyebrows. "But everything's okay. I'm fine. And your lunch box is delivered safely," she said. She patted Yamamoto's head and smiled so wide that it nearly looked like a goofy smile.

oOoOoOo

oOoOoOo

The thought of his deceased mother had been in Yamamoto's mind since that night. Yamamoto stared blankly at the window and sometimes let a little sigh slip out of his lips. Tsuna took a glance at somehow-look-troubled Yamamoto. On the first break, Tsuna came and sat in front of Yamamoto.

"Everything's okay?" asked Tsuna.

Yamamoto was startled and smiled faintly at Tsuna.

"Yeah, I think. I was just getting tired from the practice. It's no good though, we need to work hard for the tournament," Yamamoto answered calmly as usual.

Still, with Tsuna's intuition, he knew that it was a bit awkward. Tsuna thought that there was something off about the cheerful-all-the-time Yamamoto. Tsuna looked at him worriedly, but then decided to ask no further.

oOoOoOo

oOoOoOo

The wind was blowing hard and the cloud seemed darkened.

"Captain, we can't continue practicing like this… The weather gets so weird and the wind changed the pace of the ball, it's no use…," said one of the baseball team members.

"Right," Kousaka, the captain of the baseball team, looked at the sky and sighed. "Well, it looks like we have to stop here. Boys, grab your stuffs, we're done today. We'll continue tomorrow," he commanded the whole team.

Kousaka was watching the other members taking the stuff back to the club room when he noticed that Yamamoto was still practicing.

"Hey, didn't I say that we're done for today?" Kousaka tapped Yamamoto's shoulder and furrowed his eyebrows.

"Sorry captain, I'll just stay here for a moment," Yamamoto answered and gave him his usual goofy smile.

"Well, I know that you're hard working and you really love this baseball stuff. But, you've been practicing extra hard. Just… take it easy, okay? I don't want to make it a burden just because I'll graduate this year. Don't push yourself too hard, okay? ," Kousaka looked straight at Yamamoto with great concern showed in his eyes.

"I know, Kou. Don't worry. I'll go home right after this," Yamamoto said and smiled faintly as he watched Kousaka leaving.

The truth was Yamamoto had been feeling a little unwell recently and somehow he kept thinking about his mother that he started feeling uneasy. That was why he kept practicing until late to make his mind busy with baseball. Unfortunately, his health was getting worse that way.

"Shoot, it's raining!" Yamamoto ran hurriedly as the rain suddenly poured. On the way home, he felt dizzy and his step became heavier. Finally, he got home, fully soaked from the rain.

oOoOoOo

oOoOoOo

Yamamoto was in grade 5. He was climbing a tree when suddenly the branch broke and he fell. His leg bone was broken and he had to stay at the hospital.

"Mom, pleeaseee… I don't wanna stay here. I don't like this place," Yamamoto pouted and begged to leave the hospital. His leg was covered in gypsum and of course it was no question that he had to stay at the hospital. "And… I don't like being alone," Yamamoto muttered with small voice, almost hard to hear but loud enough for his mother to make her smile slightly.

"I'm sorry, but your dad has to open the restaurant, we can't close. You know it too, right? And as soon as I finish working, I will go straight here. I promise, okay? You need to be here to get better. You're my good boy, aren't you?" his mother smiled warmly and patted his head as she explained to Yamamoto. She worked at the daycare and with her co-worker taking days off for her pregnancy, she didn't intend to make things more out of hand by also taking day off. She looked at Yamamoto with pride and smiled. "I'm sure you could understand," she said.

oOoOoOo

At 3 o'clock, his mother would have arrived at the hospital bringing Yamamoto's favorite milk and bread.

"Here your milk for your bone…" she said cheerfully while rustling the bag looking for the milk. "Eh… I think I might leave it at home. Sorry…" she smiled faintly, looked burdened with guilt.

"It's okay, mom. You must be tired coming here every day from the daycare," Yamamoto held his mother's hand.

"I promise I would bring your favorite milk tomorrow," she smiled warmly and gave a kiss to Yamamoto.

oOoOoOo

"Thanks for your hard work," the head of the day care said.

Today, the shift ended a bit earlier than usual. Yamamoto's mother was thinking to go straight to the hospital. "If I go to the hospital now, I won't get stuck in traffic jam," she thought as she left the daycare smiling.

"Ah… I forgot to bring the milk," she abruptly stopped the bike. "But it's gonna be too late if I go home to take the milk," she folded her arms then she pointed her forehead and furrowed her eyebrows for several times.

"Well I just need to buy it at the convenient store before the hospital," she finally decided. She smiled and went on riding her bicycle. She stopped at the convenient store near the hospital and she really took time to choose which milk she would buy, whether it was the high-calcium one or the cereal flavor or special chocolate flavor or Yamamoto's favorite plain milk, which she ended up buying all of them. She whistled and looked at the milk happily. "I'm sure he's gonna love it!" she squealed. She was getting ready to ride her bicycle to the hospital, when suddenly…

"CRASH…"

oOoOoOo

Yamamoto sighed several times while looking furiously at the window. It was 5 o'clock and he couldn't find his mother anywhere.

"Yamamoto, you have to eat your meal. It's already 5 o'clock, you have to eat to get your medicine," one nurse said worriedly as she looked at the untouched set of meal at the table.

"Where is my mother?" Yamamoto asked the nurse. "I won't eat without her. She promised to bring me something today" he said persistently.

"I… I don't know yet, Yamamoto. But, you have to eat. Please, eat…" the nurse persuaded him once again.

Yamamoto turned his head and stared still at the window like he'd been doing the past 2 hours. The nurse eventually left after once again telling him to eat. It was almost 6 o'clock when the door opened. Yamamoto quickly turned his head just to find his dad.

"Dad…?" Yamamoto looked at him with confused eyes. "Where is mother?" his voice was trembling as he sensed something wrong.

His dad slowly approached the bed. He took Yamamoto's hand and said with small solemn voice, "Your mother… She…" he squeezed the hand of the boy in front of him and closed his old, tired eyes. "She passed away… this afternoon… by car accident" his rough voice was trembling and choked with sadness.

Yamamoto's eyes widened with shock and disbelief. He gasped a few times before tears uncontrollably fell from his amber-colored eyes.

"Wh… where? …. When?" his little body was shaking as he tried to speak. "Is... is it be… because of me? Be... because she has to go here… after work… and... and because she promised… promised to bring me…?" he cried desperately while stuttering out of control.

Yamamoto's dad looked at his trembling child, stunned with great pain in his chest. He hugged Yamamoto, "It's okay, it's okay. It's not your fault, it's not." He heard his own voice shaking as he tried to calm the hopeless son in his arm. He himself then shed tears for his beloved wife without sound. The room was only filled by the sad and painful voice of a little boy crying from his heart.

oOoOoOo


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn as it belongs to Amano Akira. I just own the plot :)

Summary :

It was near summer break when Yamamoto went ill and certain memory of his deceased mother which he had forgotten emerged and he became restless when Tsuna was the one on the line of repeating the same incident.

Rating: T

Warning: 8027, slight OOC

oOoOoOo

Yamamoto suddenly opened his eyes. It was 3 in the morning. He was breathing fast and heavily. He looked blankly as he tried to control his breath. He tried to get up just to find he was dizzy and had no power even to support him getting up from the bed. He slumped himself back to the bed, feeling nausea, and realized that his temperature got quite high.

Today was the last day before the summer holiday, Yamamoto decided to keep going to school despite of his fever. He left early in the morning.

"Takeshi, you don't look so good today. What's wrong?" asked one of the classmates.

"Nah, I'm fine. Summer _fever_, you know?" Yamamoto let it out as a joke and laughed.

It was PE lesson, the whole class were warming up for marathon.

"Yamamoto, are you okay? You're a bit pale," Tsuna asked worriedly.

"Just ignore this baseball idiot! Idiot can't get sick, you kn…," Gokudera ignorantly spurted out his words but he suddenly stopped as Yamamoto suddenly collapsed.

oOoOoOo

"I can't find it anywhere," Tsuna said, looking for the medicine for Yamamoto but could find it nowhere.

"Gah, this infirmary has become useless since that stupid doctor came here," Gokudera complained as he also looked everywhere for nothing.

"Don't say bad things about dr. Shamal," Tsuna tried to calm furious Gokudera and sighed. "I guess we have to ask someone for the medicine. Could you go find someone? I will look here a bit more," Tsuna suggested.

"But, tenth…," Gokudera started to voice his unwillingness to leave him.

"Please…" Tsuna begged. He bowed his head a little and put his hand together in front of his head. Then he raised his head and looked Gokudera in the eyes, "Will you…?"

Gokudera flustered. He was never able to decline when Tsuna begged him that way. "Leave it to me then!" said Gokudera as he rushed outside the infirmary.

Tsuna sighed and turned his back as he heard Yamamoto chuckling.

"Loud as ever, huh?" Yamamoto said and smiled.

"Ah, sorry to wake you up. You got quite high fever. I'm looking for the medicine but I think it's nowhere here. I'll try looking for it somewhere else, so just wait here, okay?" Tsuna said as he turned. Then Yamamoto grabbed his arm.

"It's okay, I'm fine. Please… just stay here…" Yamamoto said softly as he looked at Tsuna. Tsuna blushed and looked at the floor as he tried to hide his face from Yamamoto. He squeezed Tsuna's hand and asked, "Why… won't you look at me?" He reached out his hand, touching Tsuna's brown hair. Tsuna shuddered and slowly lifted up his head. "I... no… I…" Tsuna stuttered. He was clearly blushing and flustered, with his eyes making Yamamoto feel sudden great urge to hold him. Yamamoto leaned closer when suddenly there were some footsteps heard at the outside of infirmary. Gokudera was arguing with dr. Shamal.

"And you call yourself the doctor in this infirmary? There aren't any medicines here, .one. And you call this infirmary? You lazy, flirty, perverted doctor!" Gokudera yelled.

"Watch your mouth, you kinky brat!" dr. Shamal said ignorantly as he lit up the cigarette.

"Now, now you two… There is sick person here…" Tsuna said, trying to calm down the situation however his effort was fruitless. Yamamoto laughed then Gokudera instantly turned to Yamamoto.

"You, idiot! How can you catch cold in summer like this! You are seriously big idiot! How dare you make tenth worry about you, jerk!" Gokudera shouted at Yamamoto while Tsuna trying to hold Gokudera from giving injury to him.

"BAM!" suddenly the doctor banged on the table with his eyebrows furrowed. "You… you disrupt me on my date just for this?" he said as he pointed his finger to Gokudera. "And who said I treat men? Now get off!" as he glared to Yamamoto. "Anyway, it seems that you're just over exhausted," he sighed and sat on the chair, smoking.

"Well, maybe I am exhausted from the practice," Yamamoto scratched his head innocently and gave them his goofy smile.

"You… You big stupid baseball idiot !" Gokudera yelled and Tsuna once again kept him from hitting Yamamoto.

oOoOoOo

oOoOoOo

The next day, Yamamoto rested in his house. His fever had cooled down a bit.

"38.2⁰C… not bad. Rest for a little while. If anything happens, I'm outside, alright?" Yamamoto's dad took the thermometer and got out from the room. As he closed the door, Yamamoto's cell rang.

"Hello?" Yamamoto answered.

"Umm… Yamamoto, how's your fever?" Tsuna asked with worries clearly heard in his voice.

"Never better," Yamamoto chuckled, followed with sudden cough. "Well, still a bit feverish, though…" he added.

"Well, I'm planning to visit you. Do you want to have anything? I can stop by convenient store on my way there," Tsuna asked, sounded a bit excited of his idea to visit Yamamoto.

"No, you don't have to…" Yamamoto quickly refused.

"Ah… but… I…" Tsuna stopped for a moment. "I want to see you," he said it softly. "It's fine, really. I.. I just want to visit you, can't I?" his sound was pleading.

Tsuna heard Yamamoto sighing softly as he finally let him do a visit. "Ah, and I'll go look for something on my way there. Wait for me, okay," Tsuna said quite happily before he hung up the phone. That time, Yamamoto felt a dull pain on his chest. He somehow knew it, he remembered clearly that pain. He put his phone beside him. He closed his eyes and covered them with his arm.

oOoOoOo

Yamamoto waited anxiously. His eyes were filled with worries and as the time went, he found it harder to breathe. He didn't like the idea of him waiting for someone coming to visit him. Not after what had happened to him, the memory that he'd buried for quite some time.

One and a half hours had passed. He finally decided to make a phone call. Without him noticing, his hands were already wet of sweat. He tried to call Tsuna's cell but there was no answer. One call… Two calls… He stood up, walking around the room furiously.

"Dad, I'll go look for Tsuna," Yamamoto told his dad in a hurry as he walked towards the door.

"What? Why? Your temperature's still high. You'd better not move too much," his dad grabbed his arm, trying to stop him.

"Please dad. Just this time…" Yamamoto looked at his father. His eyes were determined and pained at the same time. His dad knew this look. The look that he'd seen years ago.

"Please dad… I don't want to lose someone important to me… not anymore… not this time," Yamamoto begged. His dad was stunned in confusion and worries.

"You'd better come back before night. If anything happens, make sure to call me and tell me everything about this" he finally released his grip. He slumped himself to the chair and closed his tired eyes as his son closed the door, leaving.

oOoOoOo

Yamamoto was panting heavily. His face became paler and his eyes were looking in desperation. He was searching at every place he could think of. His mind was in terrible state of being worried, anxious, and guilty. His heart was throbbing from the memory which now flashed back at his head. The pain that was still there, lingering his restless heart. He couldn't escape from the guilt he had given himself. He kept thinking that his mother's death was his fault. He kept thinking that if he never asked for the milk, she would still be here, alive. If he never asked her to come visiting him every day after work, if he hadn't got hospitalized, if he hadn't got his bone broken, if he hadn't climbed that tree, everything would have not turned this way. The same way that he blamed himself of getting sick for nothing. He ruined his practice for the tournament and even made Tsuna worried. He blamed himself that he had agreed to let Tsuna visit him. He was choked in fear and sadness.

Yamamoto then saw the one with brown hair he was looking for across the road. He was more than relieved that Tsuna was free from harm. He stopped and tried to catch his breath. He leaned against the wall of a shop and closed his eyes in exhaustion. That time Tsuna noticed that Yamamoto was there, staring at him. He was surprised at a moment and then smiled brightly. He waved at Yamamoto who replied him with smile. Tsuna hurriedly took his bicycle and walked fast towards Yamamoto when the sound of horn was suddenly echoing. Yamamoto saw what in front of him in disbelief and fear. He instinctively ran, extending his hand desperately trying to reach Tsuna…

oOoOoOo

oOoOoOo

He could hear voice of someone crying. His eyes slowly fluttered open. He saw someone sitting on a chair beside his bed, he was trembling. Yamamoto started to recognize him, with his small build and soft brown hair. He reached out his hand and gently touched Tsuna's cheek. Tsuna lifted his head as he felt that familiar touch. Tsuna couldn't stop his tear from falling down his face when he looked at Yamamoto. Tsuna hugged him and tried to speak while holding back the tear, "I… I'm afraid... afraid that I've lost you."

Yamamoto didn't really remember what had happened before. He only remembered he saw a car with high speed coming towards Tsuna. He felt his head aching and he found himself covered in bandage all over the place. Yamamoto found himself in great relief that Tsuna was fine except some scratch on his cheek and arms.

"I'm sorry to make you cry… I'm sorry to make you worry about me again… I'm really sorry," Yamamoto cupped Tsuna's cheek and lean closer that their forehead touched. Yamamoto then gave him a kiss on his forehead and on the spot of the scratches tenderly, saying sorry over and over.

oOoOoOo

End

oOoOoOo


End file.
